First Week...

So i've finished my first week back at work, and i'm not so sure how I feel about it all. I definitely miss being home with my baby girl, but it's getting easier each day to be in the office. However, Spencer was telling me how Maddie was giving him big smiles today, and I broke down. I mean, maybe it's selfish of me to think this way, but I missed out on those big smiles because I had to work. I feel like because i'm at work during the bulk of the day, i'm gonna miss out on a lot of her development, etc. I want to stay at home, but for now I must work in order to get Spencer through school. I talked with my parents tonight and my dad made a good point. He said that later in life, I'll look back at this time and say "those were the good ol' days." It's hard to think about, but Maddie will only be small for a little while and once she's grown, I will only have the memories of her as a baby. So even though I do have to work (and i HATE it), I need to focus on my Maddie and enjoy every minute I have with her because it'll go by so fast. And if I have only focused on the bad things or wish for the time to go by fast, I'll look back and regret that I didn't enjoy her more.

So for now, i'm gonna enjoy this weekend with my little family and take one day at a time. I feel like this is the subject in a lot of my posts, but it's a big issue that i'm trying to work through. And MAYBE if i write it enough, i'll start to believe and DO what I write. :) But for now, goodnight!